Has Reactive Devaluation happened to you?

 Here is what Reactive Devaluation is......

In a discussion with someone, you put forth an idea that could solve a tedious, time-consuming task. This idea has never been considered earlier. The other person hears you out for a minute or two and then conversationally asks, “Whose idea is this?” 

When you mention a team member’s name, the person's smile alters a fraction - just a fraction, mind you. With an imperceptible shake of the head, he says, “This idea won’t work, don’t waste his time or yours on it.”

What do you do next?

Read on......

 

If you were Max Bazerman, the behavioural economist, you would reply to the other person, “Aha!  What you have just done is to reactively devalue the idea, to judge it on the bias you have against the team member!” (Well, actually, Max would just think that and not say it, but you get the pic).  All of us have lots of biases (that includes You!)

ps: actually, I do not have any.......just kidding!

If it were not Max Bazerman but one of us instead, we might get

a)    Combative

b)    Defensive

c)    …or – less often – just nod the head and change the topic (but feel a certain uneasiness within and curse the other person)

 

Why are we, in these situations, combative or defensive or uneasy?  Because, implicitly, we have endorsed the idea, put our weight (and, in a small or not-so-small way, our ego) behind it.  Perhaps we like the team member. 

Communication is complex! Ask me, my hair has turned grey trying to figure it out.

 

So, what should we do?  Recommended course of action…

 

I will be honest: there is a great temptation to begin with a sarcastic, “So, if you know so much……!”

Yet, our endorsement of the idea is itself a bias, though not necessarily a bad one – can we recognise that? 

So, ask an open-ended question, with a compliment at the beginning.  Such as, “You know more about this than I do.  Can you tell me why it will not work, for my understanding?”

And listen to understand.

Not to pick flaws in that argument.

But to understand.

 

Inevitably, the other person will have a litany of complaints against the team member that will surface in the conversation, all of which are unrelated to the idea.  Such as, “He has no commitment to his tasks” or “He is not a team player” and so on.  We should agree wherever we think he is right and keep quiet where we disagree.  After he is done, we have the opportunity to show our support for the idea by saying: “Based on your feedback, we should take safeguards to prevent the idea from failing.  This is a really useful conversation.”  

 

If the person remains insistent that it will not work, but we are convinced that it should be given a try, the only way out is to be assertive and take ownership.

“You have made some excellent points.  I will keep them in mind, and try out the idea, taking full responsibility for the result.”

Assertiveness and negotiation go together!

 

At other times, we can also try this with the other person: “Can you be someone who critiques this, if the team member does a small pilot under my supervision?”

What is the advantage of asking this?

President Lyndon Johnson has the answer  !